Monday, March 31, 2014

Drinking Puerto Vallarta

There comes a moment in every man’s life when they realize that it’s time to grow up. I have not yet reached that moment.

On a Saturday morning, back in June, my wife, Jackie, woke me up with some sort of announcement. I was pretty hung-over and was surprised that she was so fucking chipper at eight A.M.

“I was looking on sky auction dot com and found a trip to Puerto Vallarta for only $27,” she exclaimed.

“Who? What? What are you talking about?”

“We have five minutes to bid on this auction…”

And that was that. We won the auction. There was no catch. It was $27 for the whole week at the Sharaton Buganvilias Hotel and Resort in the Hotel Zone of Puerto Vallarta and we had seven months to prepare.

For those unfamiliar with PV, it’s an emerging international tourist destination located on the west side of Mexico’s mainland, 335 miles (535 km) below the Sea of Cortez. The weather is always warm, the people are very friendly and the drinking culture is one of the best in the world.

On January 25, we arrived in Puerto Vallarta beat-to-shit after a day of air travel and we were ready for a drink.

We walked into town, which is only about a half mile, and stopped at the first street-side bar for a couple of authentic Margaritas. We could have stayed there for several hours but knew that there was much more to see.

Just a few blocks, and a few more bars further and we stumbled upon Murphy’s Irish Tavern. An Irish Tavern? In Mexico? Indeed! Is was exactly what we needed. We weren’t in the mood for a bunch of fiesta-time hoopla. No ARRIBA ARRIBA ANDALE ADELE bullshit. Just a nice, comfortable Irish Bar. Perfect. So we started to drink. And we continued to drink. And we drank some more. The owner, John Murphy is a young ex-pat from Minnesota who moved down to Puerto Vallarta three years ago after serving eight years in the US Coast Guard. He’s a really nice guy and he gave us the total rundown on the drinking culture in PV. But I knew it was time to move on after puking in his trough-style toilet in the men’s room. I felt like an asshole, but we still vowed to make Murphy’s our home base for the rest of the trip.

Most mornings and afternoons were spent poolside where there were several happy hour specials throughout the day. Posts from the highlights throughout the week will follow…